(Up to: QBasic )

: List endings as of 03-31-1997 Compiled using Listends.bas by Laz.

[QB#9]

...Enough about me,
...Let's talk about RANDOMIZE TIMER for a minute.
...Enough about RANDOMIZE TIMER,
...Let's talk about the PALETTE command for a while.


[QB#11]

Hey, Bungalow Bill, what did you kill, Bungalow Bill?
Hey, Bungalow Bill, what did you kill, Bungalow Bill?
Or did you just forget to END SELECT
before you started another FOR...NEXT loop?

Eh? eh? eh?

That'll learn ya, Bungalow Bill, that'll learn ya.



[QB#12]

I met a man who travelled 
Down the road to Glastonbury
He said he needs a purpose
So his life can be free.
He said he tried the PASCAL
He said he tried the C
I said it's time you started
Writing programs in QB.

The Sun has started shining
It's going to be a brighter day
(*3) etc etc etc...


[QB#14]

Day after day
Alone on the list
The lad with the foolish program
Seems to be p^ssed.
And nobody wants to help him
They can see that he's just a fool
And he never gets an answer.
But the lad on the list sees the mail going thru'
And the eyes in his head tell him to EXIT DO

[QB#15]

Oh dear what can I do
Baby's in C
And I'm using Q
Tell me oh what can I do?


[QB#16]

Too tired. Can't be bothered.
Oh, alright then...
I'm so tired.
I haven't slept a wink.
I'm sooooooo tired.
My mind is on the blink.

[QB#17]

Bang bang Bob K's silver hammer spell came down upon his head.
Bang bang Bob K's silver hammer spell made sure that he was dead.
Back in school again, Bobby plays the fool again;
Beavis gets annoyed. 
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-ene.
He tells K to stay when the class has gone away, so he waits behind,
Writing 50 times "I must not be so-o-o-o"

[QB#19]

Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Rum -tum - tiddle - um - tum.
Tiddle-iddle, tiddle-iddle,
Tiddle-iddle, tiddle-iddle,
Rum -tum - tum - tiddle - um.



[QB#20]

Ahaha. Nowt here this week,
Diddley-sqwat.

[QB#21]

I don't really want to stop the show
But I thought you might like to know
That Laz is going to write a prog
That'll shine out in the, urrrr, fog???

(Sigh, Laz has lost it again.)

[QB#22]

We've had a letter from Sebastien, 
A French Student, 
Which says he doesn't like our new BlackCurrant Tango.
Well, I'm sorry Sebastien.
...
COME ON SEBASTIEN.
COME ON FRANCE.
COME ON THE WORLD.
I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON.

[QB#23]

She's Not A Girl Who Misses Much,
DO DO DO DO DO DO DO
(LOOP LOOP LOOP LOOP LOOP LOOP LOOP)
oH YEAH!

Happiness is A waRm Gun anD an Arrayed Palette.

[QB#24]

I try to make things a little different
I try to make things change
I look at what I used to write
And find the code is strange
No SELECT CASE
No graphic arrays
No PEEKS OR POKES
What a load of cack.

Er....


[QB#25]

The FOR's connected to the NEXT
And the NEXT's connected to the DO...LOOP
And the DO...LOOP's conected to the TUNGSTEN HADDOCK.
Now here's the word of the Lord.

[QB#26]

See Coot Run
Run Coot Run
Fat Fat Fat
Ho Ho Ho

(Ok, that's not actually a song, I just made it up...)

[QB#27]

Things ain't right or wrong,
Things just is.




















I told you 'bout timing a LOOP
You know the way where nothing is real
Well here's another thing you can do
Though it's probably poo.

Looking thu' a bent backed array
To see how the other half lives
Looking thru' a Glass Onion.

[QB#28]

Picard: "Wesley, stop playing on your trampoline."
Wesley: 
Bev: "Oh, Jean-Luc, he's not doing anybody any harm."
Picard: "Oh very well then. Wesley, I hereby appoint you Assistant Trampoline
        Engineer."
Wes: "Gee, thanks Captain."

Worf: "Raaaaah. "  "Oops. I thought he was 
        attacking you, Captain."
Picard: "Never mind. We all make mistakes. Back to work, crew."



[QB#29]

Jabba Jabba Chitty Chat.
Jabba Jabba Chitty Chat.
Jabba Jabba Chitty Chat.
The Song of the JabbaMoose.

[QB#30]

Well, what can I write that would /possibly/ match the superiority of Brian's

"Twelve Days" :)
I'm out of a job....

[QB#31]

Learn to speak Lazzish, Lesson 1. Out of 1. I should imagine.

Laz: (pr. L'az) Hello.
Laz: (pr. La-z) Take me to a dentist, as I am in urgent need of a gum
operation.
Laz: (pr. Ll-a-z) Your girlfriend looks like a pair of recently-ironed
trousers.
Laz: (pr. Trum'pe-t) I am hungry. Do you have any horsemeat?
Laz: (pr. Laz'Orr) 

























Laz: (pr. Laaaaaaaaz) Fetch me a hat so that I may be 

[QB#33]

See, nothing here. Nothing at all.
Might as well just close this message, and delete it...




















Hmmm, you're a bit paranoid aren't you? There's really nothing down here.
Especially nothing rude about you...




















Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day,
To seek the pale enchanted gold.

The pines were roaring on the height,
The winds were moaning in the night.
The screen was blue, the cursor blinked;
IF lives = 3 THEN a$ = RIGHT$(a$)

Far over the misty mountains grim
To dungeons deep and SHARED AS DOUBLE DIM
We must away ere break of day,
To END and STOP and SYSTEM him.


[QB#35]

Ha'.
ghaytanHa'jay'!
tach cl'el. Hltlhej.

[QB#36]

Desmond had a bottom like a chicken's face,
Molly is a singer with no hands.
Desmond says to Molly, Girl This ain't no place
To be out hunting for some jazzy-folky bands.
Oob-li-dee, oob-lo-do, knickers. Ho ho How the life goes on.
Oob-li-dee, oob-lo-do, knickers. Ho ho How the life goes on.

[QB#37]

If you lived
In Pigeon Street,
You'd have to be careful
Where you put your feet.


[QB#38]

[Something like "Good King Wenceslaus"?]

Mr. Programmer looked up
At the screen so blue,
With his fingers on the keys
Kay and Eff and Dubble-Yoo
Brightly shone the screen that night
The Programmer was so tired
But he knew if he fell asleep
Then he'd be fired.

"Damn and Blast and Blast and Damn"
"Feck and Poo and Feck"
Because the message on the screen
Read "String Formula Too Complex."
Typing frantically away
All sorts of dodgy code,
Resulting in a dodgy error
Saying "Illegal in Direct Mode"

I know an old programmer who swallowed a swimming pool.
Fool.











[QB#40]

For the Benefit of Mr. Cyst,
There will be another list
On Saturday.
The Krustertons will all be there,
With shiny shoes and long, long hair,
Oh What a day.
And the choir will sing and do their stuff
As Laz the Grand High Master defies them alllllllllll.
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA.

(Hmm. Bit of an eccentric today are we Laz? - Laz's conscience)


[QB#43]

Now somewhere in the suburbs of New Malden,
There lived a young boy named Bobby Kayyyyy,
And one day his gal ran off with another bloke
Attacked young Bobby with a poke.
So one day he drove into town,
acting like Krusty the Clown.
Bobby had come
Equipped with a nun,
To preach off the legs of his rival.
His rival it seems
Had broken his dreams,
By stealing the lazz of his fancy.
Her name was Montrose,
And she had no elbows,
And everyone called her "No-elbows."
Now she and her man,
Who called himself Dan,
Were in the next shop in the High Street.
Well Bobsley stamped in,
And grinning a grin,
Proceeded to shoot at Dan's feet.
But Daniel was hot,
and he drew first and shot,
And Bobby collapsed in the doorwayahhhhhhhh.
Dededededededededeeerrrrr.
Dedededededededededeeerrrr.
Dedededededededededededededededededederrr.
Dedededededuhduh.
Well the security guard came along,
Singing a song,
And wanted to throw Bobby out.
He said "Bobby you're out of line."
And Bob said "Well, that's fine,
And I'll be leaving, just as soon as I am able."
Then Daniel left town,
leaving the Krusty the Clown
to sit back and enjoy his dinner yeahhhhhh.
Come on Bobby K.
Come on Bobby K.
And that's the story 'bout Bob.

[QB#45]

Oh right, so you don't believe me?








































[QB#46]

Being repeated from #43 cos it's too good...

Now somewhere in the suburbs of New Malden,
There lived a young boy named Bobby Kayyyyy,
And one day his gal ran off with another bloke
Attacked young Bobby with a poke.
So one day he drove into town,
acting like Krusty the Clown.
Bobby had come
Equipped with a nun,
To preach off the legs of his rival.
His rival it seems
Had broken his dreams,
By stealing the lazz of his fancy.
Her name was Montrose,
And she had no elbows,
And everyone called her "No-elbows."
Now she and her man,
Who called himself Dan,
Were in the next shop in the High Street.
Well Bobsley stamped in,
And grinning a grin,
Proceeded to shoot at Dan's feet.
But Daniel was hot,
and he drew first and shot,
And Bobby collapsed in the doorwayahhhhhhhh.
Dededededededededeeerrrrr.
Dedededededededededeeerrrr.
Dedededededededededededededededededederrr.
Dedededededuhduh.
Well the security guard came along,
Singing a song,
And wanted to throw Bobby out.
He said "Bobby you're out of line."
And Bob said "Well, that's fine,
And I'll be leaving, just as soon as I am able."
Then Daniel left town,
leaving the Krusty the Clown
to sit back and enjoy his dinner yeahhhhhh.
Come on Bobby K.
Come on Bobby K.
And that's the story 'bout Bob.


[QB#51]

Bobby was a man who thought he was a scientist
But he knew couldn't cut.
Bobby keft his home by New Malden High Street
For a wooden hut.
Get back.
Get back.
Get back to where you dance all night.
Get back.
Get back.
Get back to where the feeling's right.
Get back Bobby.

[QB#52]

Desmond wrote a program to work out sums,
To save him doing work inside his mind.
Took it back to Molly waiting at her house,
But when he ran it, it said "Label Not Defined."
ObladiObladaLifeGoesOnBraLaLaHowLifeGoesOn.
ObladiObladaLifeGoesOnBraLaLaHowLifeGoesOn.
In a couple of days they have got a SUB
Declared.
With a couple of WAITS Waiting in the LOOP
Of Desmond and Molly Jones.
Happy ever after on their Pent-ee-yum
Desmond lets the children have a go.
Type and type and type and type and type type type
But in the end it's just a Communication-buffer overflow.
ObladiObladaLifeGoesOnBraLaLaHowLifeGoesOn.
ObladiObladaLifeGoesOnBraLaLaHowLifeGoesOn.
Thank you!


[QB#56]

                         You will fall before him.
                 You will listen to what he has to say.
                            He can not be defeated.
                             You're too late.
                            He's already here.
                                     He
                                     Is
                                    Here.

                             ----Bobby K----
                         ----Here on Business----


[QB#57]

You say it's your birthday.
It's my birthday too, yeah.
You say it's your birthday.
We're gonna have a good time.
You say it's your birthday.
Happy birthday to ya.


[QB#59]

Hunny PI.
Hunny PI.
Hunny PI.
Hunny PI.
Hunny PI.
Hunny PI.
Hunny PI.
Hunny PI.
I luv uu. 
Hunny PI.


[QB#60]

Three programs for Insanity Dreams,
    Seven for QuickBasic 4.5 standing so fair,
Nine for Microhof doomed so it seems?
    One for the List-Lord in his darkened lair
In the land of Kharak-L'az where shadows hide the Sun's beams.
    One program to rule them all, one program just for Bobby K,
    One program to join the many parts and send the list upon its way.
In the land of Kharak-L'az where shadows hide the Sun's beams.


[QB#63]

Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to program something
To help poor Tweedledum
Cos Tweedledee said he couldn't sing?


[QB#64]

"Time for Bed," said Zebedee.

[QB#65]


Yes, I think "FencePost" is an appropriate description.